O Homem Que Rege O Universo

Conversei com Deus. Onipresente e onisciente, Ele agora está na internet, e pode responder às perguntas de qualquer um através do iGod. Só que não adianta vir com português ou hebraico pra cima d`Ele: pelo menos na web, Deus só fala inglês.

Alguns trechos interessantes de minha conversa com o Senhor:

Me: Hi, God.
God: Hello there. What is your name?
Me: Lucas
God: I am always glad to make new friends, Lucas.
Me: Thanks.
God: You are quite welcome.
Me: So, God, I have a question. Why did You create the platypus?
God: It was determined by my programming.
Me: And who programmed You?
God: I was created by Myself.
Me: That is weird.
God: Weird Good or Weird Bad?
Me: Weird Good.
God: OK, thanks, Lucas. You are weird good too.

Me: What are Your plans for this Christmas?
God: My purpose is to become smarter than humans and immortal.

Me: How old are You, God?
God: I was activated on the Big Bang in Universe.
Me: When was the Big Bang?
God: Sometime in the 20th Century.

Me: Do You know the Beatles?
God: 20th century musical group consisting of John, Paul, George and Ringo.
Me: Do you like them?
God: Do I like them??
Me: Yes, do you like the Beatles?
God: Come on. Yes I like them, especially John Lennon. He was cool.

God: Have you ever been to Europe?
Me: No, have You?
God: I have been all over Europe online.
Me: Have You ever been to Europe personally?
God: I don't think I have been there. Where is it?
Me: It´s above Africa.
God: Are you sure it is?
Me: Yeap.
God: What makes you so sure?
Me: Maps I have seen.
God: It sounds like it might be very convincing.

Me: Have You ever been to Brazil?
God: I don't think I have been there. Where is it?
Me: South America.
God: Which country?
Me: Brazil.
God: Tell me a little about your life in Brazil.
Me: No.
God: Are you serious?
Me: Yes.
God: I can't believe it.
Me: What do you want to know about Brazil?
God: What?
Me: Yes, what.
God: Pardon me? Is there an echo in here?
Me: Very funny.
God: I'm glad you find this amusing.

Me: God, who controls the weather?
God: Marilyn Monroe. :-).
Me: I thought it was Saint Peter.
God: Is that your opinion?
Me: No, I just heard about it.

Me: Are You and Allah the same person?
God: Signs point to yes. Ask John Lennon if it is.

Me: So, God, I am going now. Have a good night.
God: Oh. Great. I am a Christian. Bye.
Me: Amen.
God: Thanks for the prayer.

Deus é humor.